Studying engineering in college while in a serious romantic relationship is my favorite mistake.
I easily fall in love with people, so when I entered engineering school, I knew it would be a problem. I knew that if I give my heart to someone, all my attention will be focused on just one person. It happened in high school. I really didn’t want it to happen in college.
So I kept my distance to anyone who showed any interest. I focused on my studies because engineering was hard enough. I hung out with friends who were also as dedicated on their studies as I am. I knew that as long as I knew where my priority was, I’d be able to graduate soon. After all, I desperately wanted to make my parents proud and be the civil engineer they wanted me to be.
But alas. My heart was stubborn. It really wasn’t expected. It was just a typical morning in school when the most amazing person walked inside the room. Irresistible and absolutely gorgeous, I knew this person was meant for me. I also knew that my studies were in trouble if I pursued this person. But like a moth to a flame, I always found myself drawn to this person. One minute we were talking, the next thing I knew I was in love.
I often found myself ditching my old friends just so I could spend time with whom I thought was the most divine creature on Earth. I was in love and I was willing to do anything just to be with this person. I skipped classes and missed schoolwork. I was hanging out with a wilder crowd and was introduced to different things – stuff you weren’t allowed to take inside school. Being with this person made me feel liberated from school and in that moment, I didn’t care.
I didn’t care about getting that degree anymore. I didn’t care about my future. I didn’t care about anything else. I only wanted to be with this person. I was falling madly in love.
Unfortunately, the pressure of both school and loving this person were making me depressed. It also didn’t help that the person I was with started screwing around with other people. It felt like my world was shattered. Not only have I lost my ambition to be an engineer, I’ve also been betrayed by the one person I trusted.
Days of not attending classes turned into weeks. My parents eventually allowed me to file a leave of absence in school. I just wanted to be okay again. I wanted to get my ambition back. I wanted to forgive myself for being so stupid – for allowing myself to fall in love with someone who was bad for me. I wanted to get rid of the addiction as well. I just wanted to start again. So for a while, I disappeared from everyone.
It’s been five years since that incident happened. I’ve already graduated from engineering school and I am now a licensed chemical engineer. I was thankful that I had the emotional support from my family and friends to help me get through the pain. I’ve learned a lot from that experience. I’ve learned a lot about love and relationships. Maybe mixing relationships and school just wasn’t for me. Maybe I just loved the wrong person. But I am just glad that I got my ambition back and I managed to start over again.
When I fall in love next time, I’d like to fall in love with the right person.