It took me years to finally get the license I’ve been dreaming about. It took a lot of sweat, tears and misery to finally be called an engineer. While I still feel awkward when people address me as “Engr.”, I still find it unbelievable that I am part of an elite group that not everyone can be part of.
But lately, I’ve been feeling insecure about myself. I have come across different people who are a few years older than me and they are doing well with their careers as bankers, stock brokers and businessmen. They have cars and money and the lifestyle that most of us would want to have also. So whenever I looked at myself in the mirror, all I see is this young girl who has nothing on her bank account and a messy apartment she pays for every month.
I start to feel insecure and disappointing feelings start rushing in me. All I could feel is envy towards these rich kids who had it lucky to have rich families to support them. Maybe it was through their families’ connections that made it easier for them to get the things they have now. For weeks, all I could feel is envy and frustrations. “Why can’t I have this? Why can’t I be that?” are questions I keep asking myself.
Until one day, someone knocked some sense into me.
As I quote my friend, “You’re a freakin’ licensed engineer and you graduated from the best school in the country! You worked so hard to be at this point in your life with no help from anyone. You went through hell and you made it out alive. You have so many things to be proud of.”
I knew she was right. Jealousy has consumed me that I forgot about all the things I worked hard for. I am an engineer. I may just be starting in this industry but being one is already an accomplishment for a young person in her 20s. To have survived a difficult degree program from one of the best schools in my country was not an easy task to do. I am an engineer and I forgot to feel proud about it.
So every morning, I try to remind myself these things:
I am an engineer.
I may not be where I want to be in my life yet but through hard work and belief in myself, I will be.
I will not be envious about other people’s success – instead, they should inspire me to be better than who I was before.
We all have different paths in our lives. Some choose to be in the finance department while I will be an engineer who makes things possible.
I will strive to be a better engineer.
I am proud to be an engineer.
So if you happen to have felt the way I did before, I urge you to get rid of the negativity. We are engineers and that’s something people can’t take away from us. We’ve worked so hard to accomplish getting our engineering degrees and feeling insecure about someone else’s advantage and success is unhealthy for us. So let go. Don’t be insecure.
Be an engineer who makes a difference and be proud to be part of this glorious engineering movement.
Proud engineer in Philippines, Proud engineer in Japan, Proud engineer in China, Proud engineer in South Korea, Proud engineer in Malaysia, Proud engineer in Singapore, Proud engineer in Indonesia