How Engineers Can Balance Their Emotions
Your brows say that you like a hot iron to touch your boss’ face. Here’s a tip on how engineers can balance their emotions.
You want zombies to eat the brains your calculus professor who rejected the practicum you worked hard for.
You think it’s best for your lazy workmate to get hospitalized so he won’t be with you for the next project.
No doubt engineers are logical-mathematical individuals but, emotional intelligence and self-control are never absent in a successful engineer’s life formula.
In case you don’t know where to start, here’s a quick guide for you by Marcel Schwantes, founder of Leadership from the Core.
Put boundaries on people who make you angry
Build a strong wall that will protect you from people who keeps on violating your physical and emotional boundaries.
If he or she happened to be assigned with you for a project, make a deal with yourself that you won’t let him or her take advantage of you in any situation and that you are professional enough not to allow this person to disrespect you.
Get to the bottom of why you are really angry
Sometimes, your anger is just a reaction when you hit the tip of an iceberg but deep in the water are the real reasons why you’re pissed off.
This is what emotionally intelligent people analyze. They ask themselves, “What’s really beneath my anger?” This is the time you will realize that your anger is a result of something that is disturbing you, usually something unsolved lying underneath your skin. It may be anxiety, worry, fear of failure, expectations, etc.
You have to deal with these first before you make a step on how to get your job done when your boss demands so much from you. Honesty within yourself is the key.
Process is an integral part of engineering and is also a vital portion of managing emotions well. So put your trust on it.
Respond, don’t react
Ooops! You better step back before you react.
Violent reaction to terrible situations might be rational for some people but emotionally intelligent ones do not resort to impulsive responses.
Engineers with high EQ knows how to assess the situation, get perspective, listen without judgment, and hold back from reacting head on. They walk away when being triggered and come back when their anger subsides.
They also acknowledge anger and will proceed talking to a friend who might give better perspective and understanding on the situation and know that reacting badly might cause further trouble.
Take a six-second pause
Give yourself six seconds when you hit your boiling point. Why? Because emotion chemicals in our brains last about less than seven seconds and pausing for a while helps the said chemicals to slow down.
Before saying anything harsh, take that precious pause and see the difference of opposite actions. Smart engineers make careful choices in materials as well as in dealing with work relationships.
Be the first to reach out after an argument
Engineers build bridges, they don’t burn them.
Be someone that constructs strong connection with people in this world full of engineers that do otherwise. It will not make you less of a person if you’re the first one to issue an apology.
As the saying goes, “it’s better to lose my pride because of my friend rather than losing my friend because of my pride.” Humility and courage are characteristics of a smart engineer.
Shift to the positive
Anger is something hard to get off your chest after a heated exchange but you can do two things to oust negativity.
One is to meditate on the things you’re grateful for in the past 24 hours. Saying “I’m thankful that I’m assigned in this new construction project because I get to learn new culture” might be one.
Shaw Achor, positive psychologist said that doing this for 21 straight days will train your brain to pick up positive thoughts. This will help you become more optimistic. Aside from that, an intelligent engineer knows how to put him or herself in the shoes of his or her colleague. Looking at the possible situation a person might be facing can lead anger to shift into understanding.
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