How Breaking Up Helped Me As An Engineering Student

Looking back at my first boyfriend in engineering school seven years ago, I could say that I have learned a lot of lessons from that relationship.

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Back when I was still an engineering student, I fell in love too easily and some people think that I fell too hard for somebody.

We all can’t help fall in love with someone especially when we tend to be young and foolish. We’re lucky if the person we fall in love with chooses to love us back. Sounds romantic, yes?

Looking back at my first boyfriend in college seven years ago, I could say that I have learned a lot of lessons from that relationship. These lessons could also be applied to my college experience and to life in general.

It all started when I met him in my electronics class. We were both chemical engineering students who had to take this class as an elective but we never really got to know each other before. I’ve seen him around the campus and I always thought he looked really nice. Of course, I was the type of girl you’d consider as a simple nerd from the province. I didn’t look bad but my looks didn’t stand out compared to the city girls we were classmates with. So, there I was, developing a huge crush on this guy I barely knew and I just wondered if we could ever end up becoming friends. Being a shy girl really made me okay with not wanting more out of any relationships I had with the opposite sex.

As luck would have it, the class professor assigned us to different groups and I ended up being in the same group as him. To make the story short, we quickly became good friends and I ended up dating him for two years. The relationship started out to be easy. We shared a lot of common interests and he was a conservative like me. Unlike everybody else who was into hooking up and partying, he and I chose to take it slow and avoided alcohol as much as possible. What I admired about him the most was how he shared the same faith as me and we always went to church every Sunday. I must say, he was a really good friend and even an amazing boyfriend.

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Unfortunately, things didn’t really work out the way I expected it to. He was qualified to continue his studies in a different country and I had to stay behind. We initially thought that a long distance relationship could work. If he’ll be studying in Singapore, we could always talk through Skype and he could come home every summer and Christmas break. We thought it would be easy. I really thought he was the one for me.

Six months after he left, the conversations became shorter and the need to constantly check up on each other wasn’t urgent anymore. Both of us were too busy with our academics and in my attempt to feel less lonely, I decided to hang out with more friends and don’t stay online as much as I used to. I no longer wanted to stay online just to wait for him to talk to me and I also felt he didn’t make the effort that I expected him to make for this relationship to work. To be honest, we fell out of love with each other and breaking up was the best option for us to become better individuals separately.

So there I was, feeling sad about two years going to waste. Two years spent getting to know someone just so he’d become a complete stranger later on. So I decided to turn this heartbreak as motivation to finish my studies in engineering. While it took me months before I could finally say I’ve moved on from my first heartbreak, I kept on reflecting what went wrong and what I can learn from this experience.

I realized I should never take anything for granted – not any relationship and not even my education. Just like how lucky I was to have met a really amazing person, I felt privileged for the education I’m getting in college. Not everybody gets to go to college so having to let go of my ex-boyfriend made me realize that I needed to take care of what I had. I needed to take care of my status as an engineering student. I had to work hard to make sure I can maximize the time I spent learning inside and outside the classroom. I had to commit myself to every class I was enrolled in just to make sure I wouldn’t fail in any of them. If I wanted to make something work, I had to stay dedicated and if there was a problem, I shouldn’t give up easily. Maybe that’s why it never worked out between me and my ex. I gave up too easily when we could have done something to keep the love for each other.

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After the breakup, I chose to stay focused on my studies and frequently kept in touch with my family. I also developed good and lasting relationships with my college friends. There were nights when I regret not making an effort to show my ex how much he meant to me, so I just decided to show my love for the ones I have with me right now. Most of all, the break up helped me become more motivated to finish my studies and become an engineer.

We don’t talk anymore and the last time I heard something about him, it was how he’s doing great in Singapore. He’s probbaly dating something new.

Hopefully, we’ll meet again in the near future and be happy for each other for living our dreams.

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Engr. Amy Aguirre
Civil Engineer, fashion model & GineersNow TV host. Speaks Spanish, English and Portuguese fluently. Based in Melbourne and Manila. Follow me on Linkedin


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